That's My Story

That's My Story and I'm Sticking to it
by Alan Roby, CPCC
(I am grateful to Dr. Penny Nixon, UCC minister, for reminding me recently about stories and their power.)

Oh, I have a great story about that. Geez, what's her story? One thing about Charlie, he can really tell a good story.

What makes for a good story? Why do some cultures revere their storytellers? Why are ghost stories so frightening? Why do we teach children in part through stories? What stories from your own past have stayed with you? Why do you suppose that is? A good story has the power to transport you beyond yourself and to see things and make connections that you would not otherwise have made. Stories find the back door to our souls because they engage our heart and imagination. They sneak in an idea or perspective before our conscious, logical mind has a chance to slam the door.

And as it turns out, each of us has our own story. It is the story of our lives that we have created for ourselves and that defines the way we see the world and our place in it. Our story is the lens through which we see nearly every situation and how we react to that situation, usually without our being aware of our story's influence. Our story is usually a collection of at least some of the facts, experiences and memories of our lives, which we often decide lead inexorably to a single conclusion about us; i.e., because this and that happened, it means that I am a certain way and always will be.

What are the rhythms of your story? What are the significant events and who are the main characters, and the minor ones? What do you make up that these events and people mean? Are you the hero or the victim of your own story? If you're not the hero of your current story, what would it be like if you were? Notice I didn't say "How can you be the hero of your story?" I just asked, "What would it be like if you were?"

Dr. Nixon reminded us that we are not our story! We are not our past, our pain, our childhood, our failures, or even our accomplishments. What's the story that you tell about yourself? In what ways is it serving you? And importantly, what is it costing you? Chances are there are elements of it that are true and elements that perhaps are no longer true, if they ever were. The way to get rid of a story that no longer serves you is by replacing it with one that does. Then you can go embody your big, powerful story!

So there's this guy walking down the street, and he's living this big, bold life of his own design

That's My Story Exercise
Create the story that will reflect the best of who you are and who you are becoming, and that will propel you to the future you want to create. And then go be your story!

Quotes
"You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand."
~Irene C. Kassorla

"To be a person is to have a story to tell."
~Isak Dinesen

"Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts."
~Salman Rushdie

"A people are as healthy and confident as the stories they tell themselves."
~Ben Okri