How Do You Handle Adversity?

Shining in the Dark
(Another Brilliant Story from my friend, Corii)

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee. . .

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen.

She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me. What do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "I don't get it, what does this mean, Mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - and each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, it's inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they changed the water.

Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?" "Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough, with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst , you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Quick Suggestion

I start of my bi-weekly meetings with my coaching buddy, Nikki, by going over my triumphs of the last two weeks. I can sometimes find myself feeling like I haven’t accomplished enough or that my life is not moving forward fast enough. Yet when I start going over all of the great things that have been going on since our last meeting, I realize that my life and my business are consistently moving forward. This serves as one of my reminder to appreciate myself, my life and my accomplishments.

So I urge you to find a goal buddy for yourself. You can create a mutually beneficial relationship, in which you can check in on a regular basis with your triumphs and with your challenges. You can serve as mirrors for each other and you can champion each other’s goals.

Personal Reflections

“How can you live your life as art for others to behold?” -- David Deida

After coming back from a poetry reading by David Whyte, I had an amazing realization that my biggest responsibility of being a coach is to lead a full and fulfilling life. This excited me to no end. It meant that being active, being creative, being curious and seeking experiences allows me to bring that into my coaching, into my writing and into other projects I chose to take on. So rather than constantly struggling with Life Balance, I am choosing to concentrate on simply living a full life. That has been amazingly empowering.