Reality - What a Concept?
I've always found travel to be one the most significant sources of emotional, physical and spiritual recharge. Just being away from the regular daily rituals of life and business can create a fresh perspective. Travel gives us an opportunity to get off the treadmill of our regular lives - away from the forces that create the illusion of forward movement. Upon our return, we are able to see our lives in a much more objective way. This perspective allows us to get more traction for conscious personal and career movement. Check out my personal reflections section to read a bit about my recent travels.
Seth Godin for President
Seth Godin has been inspiring me lately. Not only has he gently pushed me to enter the blogosphere with his latest E*book (I will debut my blog in the next few weeks), but reading his blog has been a tremendous catalyst for writing this latest Coach Talk. Seth is truly a coach disguised as a marketer. The following observation is inspired by him:
The Purple Rules of Change (applies to personal, career and/or business change)
1) Commit yourself to deep exploration that will allow you to perceive yourself, the world and your business/career from an accepting and aware place.
2) Enter a zone of "pure wondering." In this zone there are no answers, just questions that come from child-like curiosity.
3) Create goals and action steps to change what it is you already accept yet want to be different.
Let's put aside for a minute the Quantum Physics or Eastern Religion concept that there is no such thing as absolute reality. The best we can hope for in our development as individuals and/or entrepreneurs is to continue to adjust our perception of reality so that we are viewing it with goggles that manage to distort as little as possible. In order to do that, we must be comfortable with what truly is - without fearing how that view of reality will hurt us. Or better yet - perhaps fearing it and courageously taking in all of the emotions that ultimate truth brings us. It is that place of pure awareness that allows us to create positive personal and business development. The more our reality is distorted the less fulfillment, ease and flow will be brought into our lives.
Experiment
One of the best ways to align yourself with reality is to simply acknowledge what truly is for you at the present moment. Experiment with the short exercise below on a daily basis and email me back to tell me how it went:
1.Begin by taking a few moments with your eyes closed to deeply breathe and go into a zone of "not trying." You are not trying to meditate. You are not trying to be anything or anywhere you are not. You are simply and effortlessly being.
2.Then gently open your eyes and acknowledge the truth of the present moment with "I" statements. I feel sad. I am afraid my business will fail. I don't know what to do right now. Let the reality of them sink in and be present to all the emotions that arise without the need to chase them away.
"If you don't know where you're going, you will wind up somewhere else. " -- Yogi Berra
Balancing Act
I love movies. So it's unfortunate that I often go through long periods where I don't enjoy the movies I watch. In the past month, I happened to see two that are worth mentioning - one takes us on a journey to Memphis and the world of rappers, pimps and hustlers and the other brings us back to WWII Hungary and the emotional and physical devastation of the holocaust.
Hustle and Flow is a realistic depiction of the lives of people who are at the very bottom of America's socioeconomic ladder. To enjoy this film, the director invites us to dive into a culture vastly different from our own. To see past the moral and ethical ambiguities of the characters, we are asked to take off our "cultural relativity goggles" and leave our judgments and ethical standards of our own society at home. What we see emerge is a universal theme of hope, dreams and a desire for a better life.
We can all relate to having a gut knowing that there is something bigger for us waiting just around the corner even if we don't exactly know what it is. Terrence Howard is amazing in the lead role. We can feel everything his character feels - hope, desperation, love and rage seeping through the screen.
** Now that we are on the drug-dealing/pimpin' theme, check out Freakonomics and learn the answer to the question: "Why do so many dealers still live at home with their mom?"
Fateless is a hauntingly beautiful Holocaust film that unfolds in the form of miniature vignettes rather than peak dramatic moments. It's like being able to see random and unconnected pieces of the mosaic and by the end realizing that you have a deep emotional understanding of the entire piece. There is absolutely no melodrama or emotional manipulation. We simply witness a 14-year old Hungarian boy accept his fate and journey from innocence to a complete numbing of the senses. The power of the story isn't in the violence. The dark depth is in the boy's quiet transformation to emotional shut-down as he simply lives to see another day.
The survivors in their tattered prison garb seem like ghosts in haunting images that make us wonder how they can possibly ever return to normality. How can they ever speak of their experiences? How can anyone ever understand what they went through? It makes me think of our soldiers coming back from Iraq and how I have never walked in their shoes.
Personal Reflections
I have recently come back from a long overdue overseas trip. I hadn't realized how much I missed traveling until I found myself in China observing a different culture and a different way of life. I found myself soaking in the people, the scenery and the customs. Just writing about it makes me want to drive to the airport, buy a ticket and get on a plane to somewhere different (and warm). It's not that I want to escape my life, my office and my responsibilities here. I just want to experience and have those experiences influence my relationship to my life, my work, my clients and my writing.
My perception of China before the trip couldn't have been more off the mark. I was expecting a country full of scarcity, drab communist-like clothing and a less than friendly attitude from the people (similar to what I witnessed in Russia a few years ago). What I saw there was a thriving economy, colorful streets and a positive attitude everywhere I went. I am not saying that there is no poverty or negative situations, but the overall feeling I got in China was optimistic and open. AND I loved the shopping - this is coming from someone who can only shop for an hour or so at a time. The experience of explaining my profession at a travel agency was amusing so I wanted to share it with you. They couldn't grasp what a coach was. Let's try it one more time. Was I a therapist? Was I a consultant? What's a coach again? My last attempt was to say that a soccer team has a coach that inspires the team and every individual player to their optimal performance. I do the same for entrepreneurs in their careers and their lives. This was followed by more blank stares and the unanimous decision to put me down as a consultant on the application. I guess my elevator pitch doesn't yet transcend cultural divides. Maybe next time...
In closing, I wanted to share a poem I wrote a few weeks ago:
I am unconditional love. I am in a fluid dance with the universe and all of its inhabitants from a place of pure awareness. I see everyone's essence. I connect with people from that essence without the pull to connect from an ego-based place. I accept and love myself; and radiate that light effortlessly and without a desire to be radiant. I love because I am love. I am unconditional love.
